I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
4 words: hood of his car
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
