dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Sorry my hands just texted you
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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