Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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