I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
