Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
