I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
