Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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