If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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