hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
