Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
