the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
