Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Randomize
