I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
