**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
