you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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