i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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