help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
