WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
