Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
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my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
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His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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