I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
