i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize