At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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