Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
