Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize