Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
