that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
