Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My Sexting was not on an AP level
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
