That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Congratulations! We have a period
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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