Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
