Swine flu. Run for my life!
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
