You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
