Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
