i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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