i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
