Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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