Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
