Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
