Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
