You made me cry and you don't even care
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
