What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
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Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
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it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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