evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
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My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
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I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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