Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
My balls are so social today.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
two words...techno handjob
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
