The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
