I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
bring money and cleavage
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Liz is crying about burritos again.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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