i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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