Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
They have beer where we have blood.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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