My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
