Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
it glows. i had to have it.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
