dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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