forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
