just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
