if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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