we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize