garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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