Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize